You know those days you wake up and look outside and see YUCK.....You know what I mean, those rainy, cold, windy days that make you want to crawl back into bed and just obliterate it with sleep.
Lucky me, I knew that once all were off to where they were going..I would be able to actually do just that. ...Let myself just crawl back into my bed of bliss on a rainy day. OMG...You know the feeling. The sheer indulgence of getting back inside the blankets. Your legs rubbing against the sheets as you lazily stretch out with a huge smile on your face. FEEL the sound of the rain and wind outside as you enjoy not having to go out there like so many times before. Letting the rhythm lull you into total relaxation as you huddle deeper in your cocoon of warmth and peace. It seems that it's at those times that our bodies surrender to a much deeper slumber. As if a much needed shut down takes place to envelope ones whole self.
It would also seem that when you are actually able to partake in this decedent indulgence of a brain dead, state of wellbeing, one should also assume that the law of nature will dictate a rude interruption to said activity.
The surf is calm as I let it wash up on my feet. Lapping at my toes as I curl them in the sand. Stooping to pick up shells and star fish I notice one waving at me. Going closer I pick it up, turning it over in my hand , it starts ringing. I dumbfoundedly look at this ringing star fish and think....STOP IT!!! STOP RINGING !!.....I throw it back in the water but it continues to ring . Even getting louder now....its disturbing ...it's causing a fog to appear around me. I feel like my eyes are glued shut..no wait ....IT'S THE DAMN PHONE!!!!....
I swear to god....I think if someone called to ask me to be a guinea pig in a medical experiment at that moment, I would agree to have a boob attached to my forehead just so I could HANG UP THE PHONE!!
Instead its a mag. subsciption sales person....and it's her lucky day...I politely ask her to give me her home phone number so I can call her back at her worst possible time of day, be it when making supper or sleeping in. Regardless of when I promised to get back to her. CLICK
Sigh of relief..your eyes are still heavy and you just may be able to find that perfect beach....breathing gets slower , shoulders untense, yeahhhhhhhh it's all good. Hmmmmm
RINGGGGGG!!!!!!!!RINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!WHAT??? "We are doing a fashion survey on items you may buy in your local....".........I LIVE AS A HERMIT IN A WOOD CABIN IN THE WOODS......I EAT WILD MEAT AND USE THE BONES TO COMB THROUGH MY RATTY HAIR......I DON'T THINK I AM THE RIGHT ONE TO CALL ABOUT FASHION.....snorts then hang up.
Lies back on pillow looking at the ceiling. Ok maybe this can still be salvaged. Take a deeeeep breath in.....then out.........slowly. Ahhhh yes...relax................
RING!!!!!!.........OH FOR THE LOVE OF...sits up....OK, YOU WIN....I'M UP! I'M UP mailto:!!!*&%$@?!&?$#@!
How was your day???
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Monday, September 06, 2004
BIG FOOT'S COMMIN!!
My last story reminded me of another that took place many years ago. Or should I say decades. I was about 13 yrs old, same as my daughter is now actually. It was in the summer of 76 or 77 I can't be sure. I was lucky enough to be growing up in the British Columbian Rockies in a small skiing town called Fernie.
We lived on a small piece of land just outside the towns limits. Part of our land was just forest going uphill with some very big trees, most of which were pine. Some of these trees had such long full branches that touched the ground that once you pushed your way through them it almost felt like you had found a secret place. An empty room that you could hide in or spy with by looking through a small hole in the pines . What a cool fort it made.
One day my friend Margarette and I decided that we wanted to spend the night in our newly found fort. One side of the room was quite flat, considering it was on a hill. It would be easy enough to be comfortable with a few blankets on the flat area. So having decided that we went off to ask our parents.
They mocked us ofcourse. Her by her brothers, laughing up a storm at her expense, saying we would not last an hour. I thankfully had no brothers but my dad had his turn in a more subtle way ... his half cocked smile with the resounding SNORT... was enough to know he was of the same opinion as Margarette's brothers.
We would SHOW THEM!! So we gathered a bunch of comfortable blankets , pillows and a whole slew of survival gear. All of which was absolutely necessary like cookies, juice, chocolate bars, candy, comic books, note pad and pencils, magazines, flashlight and our prized posession was a transistor Radio and lots of batteries.
We hawled our goods up the hill to our fort. It was all freshly swept from that afternoon so it was a quick job to settle in and get comfy. We giggles like the girls, we were all drapped on our blankets flipping through comics, listening to the tunes of that summer on the radio while stuffing our faces with what ever was at hand....not to mention laughing at her brothers haha , they knew nothing the jerks.
It eventually started to get dark so we decided to get cozier in our blankets to just talk and listen to the music playing. We were yapping away when we heard a CRACK! up higher on the hill coming down from the mountain. ...then silence..so we both relaxed and giggles at eachother. Then CRUNCH!!.. there is was again! Seemed closer this time. We both had our ears strained to hear it again when a new song began to play on the radio that went....
BIG FOOT'S COMMIN GONNA GET YA GONNA GET YA!!!! BIG FOOT'S COMMIN SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!
Omg, talk about bad timing .As silly as it was, we really didn't need to hear that just then. ...CRACK!!....CRUNCH!!....COMING CLOSER AND CLOSER!!...and the song is getting faster in tempo with the same damn ...
BIG FOOT'S COMMIN, GONNA GET GONNA GET YA, BIG FOOT'S COMMIN SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!!!
By this time we can hear the thing approuching and we are in eachothers arms, trembling and almost pissin in fear when the steps are SO CLOSE...THE SONG IS AT ITS PEEK...AND ...AND ....SOME BRANCHES MOVE!!! OPEN UP!!! OMG !! OMG!!! ..................it's my DAD!!! with a shit eating grin on his face , says..."So how you girls doing up here???"
OMG you know those times when you could just kill your parents? THAT was one of those times. He had purposely gone way up on the hill to make his way down NOISELY ofcourse, to scare the begibbers out of us...Needless to say after that fiasco, we didn't much feel like staying there any longer. So they were right. We chickened out and by the way, I still hate that dumb song!
We lived on a small piece of land just outside the towns limits. Part of our land was just forest going uphill with some very big trees, most of which were pine. Some of these trees had such long full branches that touched the ground that once you pushed your way through them it almost felt like you had found a secret place. An empty room that you could hide in or spy with by looking through a small hole in the pines . What a cool fort it made.
One day my friend Margarette and I decided that we wanted to spend the night in our newly found fort. One side of the room was quite flat, considering it was on a hill. It would be easy enough to be comfortable with a few blankets on the flat area. So having decided that we went off to ask our parents.
They mocked us ofcourse. Her by her brothers, laughing up a storm at her expense, saying we would not last an hour. I thankfully had no brothers but my dad had his turn in a more subtle way ... his half cocked smile with the resounding SNORT... was enough to know he was of the same opinion as Margarette's brothers.
We would SHOW THEM!! So we gathered a bunch of comfortable blankets , pillows and a whole slew of survival gear. All of which was absolutely necessary like cookies, juice, chocolate bars, candy, comic books, note pad and pencils, magazines, flashlight and our prized posession was a transistor Radio and lots of batteries.
We hawled our goods up the hill to our fort. It was all freshly swept from that afternoon so it was a quick job to settle in and get comfy. We giggles like the girls, we were all drapped on our blankets flipping through comics, listening to the tunes of that summer on the radio while stuffing our faces with what ever was at hand....not to mention laughing at her brothers haha , they knew nothing the jerks.
It eventually started to get dark so we decided to get cozier in our blankets to just talk and listen to the music playing. We were yapping away when we heard a CRACK! up higher on the hill coming down from the mountain. ...then silence..so we both relaxed and giggles at eachother. Then CRUNCH!!.. there is was again! Seemed closer this time. We both had our ears strained to hear it again when a new song began to play on the radio that went....
BIG FOOT'S COMMIN GONNA GET YA GONNA GET YA!!!! BIG FOOT'S COMMIN SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!
Omg, talk about bad timing .As silly as it was, we really didn't need to hear that just then. ...CRACK!!....CRUNCH!!....COMING CLOSER AND CLOSER!!...and the song is getting faster in tempo with the same damn ...
BIG FOOT'S COMMIN, GONNA GET GONNA GET YA, BIG FOOT'S COMMIN SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!!!
By this time we can hear the thing approuching and we are in eachothers arms, trembling and almost pissin in fear when the steps are SO CLOSE...THE SONG IS AT ITS PEEK...AND ...AND ....SOME BRANCHES MOVE!!! OPEN UP!!! OMG !! OMG!!! ..................it's my DAD!!! with a shit eating grin on his face , says..."So how you girls doing up here???"
OMG you know those times when you could just kill your parents? THAT was one of those times. He had purposely gone way up on the hill to make his way down NOISELY ofcourse, to scare the begibbers out of us...Needless to say after that fiasco, we didn't much feel like staying there any longer. So they were right. We chickened out and by the way, I still hate that dumb song!
Friday, September 03, 2004
Man verses Beast(A True Story)
Through the dawn of time, man has encroached apon natures habitat. It is a constant battle of war waged between man and beast. Cement skyscrapers replace majestic forests. Subdivisions replace meadows and fields. We as humans should be ashamed of ourselves. We as humans should rejoice in the pure and simple beauty of life. We as humans should beware of the revenge of the beast. Mark my words, it can happen. It happened to me.
This was never more true then a few weeks ago, here in my own yard. I have to share this story in warning to my fellow man. Stay vigilent and wary, you never know when they will stike.
It was a beautiful day out. One could not ask for better. The sun was shining with a warmth of comfort with a slight breeze to tickle ones skin. Birds were chirping and the distant sound of laughing children could be heard enjoying this fine summer day.
Perfect days like this were few and far between so I decided to spend my time outside on my deck. I set up my laptop on the patio table in order to get some things done yet still be outside. I was so immersed in typing something out that at first I didn't notice it. Then it happened again, the sound of something falling on the deck. Finally a third time it registered that pine nuts were falling from above. Yet still a forthought was logically tellling me that the slight breeze was responsible for them falling. When a fourth more insistant pine nut fell close to me on the deck I automatically looked up.
As my eyes focused, I was incredulous! Our gazes locked on eachother. Neither moving. You could hear a pin drop at that moment. Face to face I was not sure what to do. I could feel the tension, the anger, the wrath of the beast vearing its ugly head. Plotting his revenge against man on his territory by taking up arms he thought he could win. I remained steadfast and still, not daring to move. Unsure if he has anymore arsenal to use against me I held his gaze. Beeds of sweat broke out on my forehead. The back of my neck became tense. I knew the moment of confrontation was coming. I had to act no matter what.
I did what any self respecting person in my uncommon position would have done. Being faced with a pissed off squirrel standing on its hind legs with his chest all puffed up, hands on his waste and looking down at me from the roof of my house. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly then ...............I FLIPPED HIM THE FINGER! which made him turn and run.
The balance of man verses beast was restored yet again.
This was never more true then a few weeks ago, here in my own yard. I have to share this story in warning to my fellow man. Stay vigilent and wary, you never know when they will stike.
It was a beautiful day out. One could not ask for better. The sun was shining with a warmth of comfort with a slight breeze to tickle ones skin. Birds were chirping and the distant sound of laughing children could be heard enjoying this fine summer day.
Perfect days like this were few and far between so I decided to spend my time outside on my deck. I set up my laptop on the patio table in order to get some things done yet still be outside. I was so immersed in typing something out that at first I didn't notice it. Then it happened again, the sound of something falling on the deck. Finally a third time it registered that pine nuts were falling from above. Yet still a forthought was logically tellling me that the slight breeze was responsible for them falling. When a fourth more insistant pine nut fell close to me on the deck I automatically looked up.
As my eyes focused, I was incredulous! Our gazes locked on eachother. Neither moving. You could hear a pin drop at that moment. Face to face I was not sure what to do. I could feel the tension, the anger, the wrath of the beast vearing its ugly head. Plotting his revenge against man on his territory by taking up arms he thought he could win. I remained steadfast and still, not daring to move. Unsure if he has anymore arsenal to use against me I held his gaze. Beeds of sweat broke out on my forehead. The back of my neck became tense. I knew the moment of confrontation was coming. I had to act no matter what.
I did what any self respecting person in my uncommon position would have done. Being faced with a pissed off squirrel standing on its hind legs with his chest all puffed up, hands on his waste and looking down at me from the roof of my house. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly then ...............I FLIPPED HIM THE FINGER! which made him turn and run.
The balance of man verses beast was restored yet again.
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