Saturday, January 04, 2014

Saddly Snubbed but for the Actions of Another..

We hadn't been there for a good while. So we were happy to return to our favourite breakfast place today. During the past cpl yrs, we were always warmly greeted by the owner. He always took the time to chat and exchange pleasantries. This came about because we had a mutual friend. Who happened to be the one who recommended this place to us. Over that time we have brought countless ppl there to eat and recommended it to many others. The food is always good there, I  happily admit.

Today there was no Bonjour, no pleasantries, no smile, not even a courteous nod. Today was as if he had never met us before. Better yet... we were the next cpl up in the waiting line to be seated... but he gave the next table to the ppl behind us instead.  Which was ok , we were in no hurry and they had a small child with them. But this was an obvious snub. We were quiet and waited. When Chris went to pay later, he never made eye contact, or said a word. It was blatant and rude.

and such a pity.

I shouldn't feel hurt by the actions of someone who is just an acquaintance and certainly not worthy of that kind of emotion but ...It smarted nonetheless. We didn't deserve to be treated that way.

Especially given the reason why.
The mutual friend....

The crux of the story...

Earlier this yr , as some know. I hurt my back terribly. I was flat on my back in the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Unable to do anything at all. For a cpl of weeks! Chris was my hero! He cared for all four of our live in clients with special needs AND Me!

I had what I thought , was a very close friend for a cpl yrs. Who happened to be a very good massage therapist. I liked her a lot I truly believed we were good friends.. I was always there for her. Late night calls about her relationship probs...staying with us when she needed space. Sounding board for all her woes, invited to all our get togethers yada yada like friends are. We also encouraged her with her career. I hired her often to come with her table , as much for me, as for any guests that came to visit us. Never expecting to pay less then others. As it should be. She worked on me often when I had neck and arm problems.

Then I hurt my back...

The 1st week ... she was booked up. But thought maybe she could fit me in the next Tuesday?
I was a bit flummoxed to be honest. I was demoted to meer client status. Friendship not surpassing business hours?

 I was deeply hurt. She was the one friend who could have made a huge difference in my condition or at the very least, be cause for some relief . She also knew how much pain I was in. But then asked if I could go to her when we had no sitter and I couldn't sit up to drive ! It hadn't even occurred to her to come here , after business hours. That I would have paid for anyway!

 So I was hurt. But I kept it to myself until one evening , exhausted from the pain and miserable about this, I just started to say her name to Chris...

Who immediately said...I CAN NOT BELIEVE we called her a friend! Seriously a friend would have been there as soon as possible to try to help. Like you've been for her over and over again. Not to mention that we would have paid her anyway! Just makes me sick...

I decided then, that I would just walk away....Who needs friends like that? We choose who we surround ourselves with. Friendship isn't one sided. It's not always about one person. Sometimes the other one needs help. Another week later, I got one message asking if everything was ok, she sensed something.

Didn't reply, just walked away. Needed to put all my energy toward trying to get better over the summer. Physiotherapy and massage therapy by a stellar professional who Chris and I really appreciate.

Never heard from her again... in the last 6 months since.....which is perfect.

Fast forward to today.

She obviously told the restaurant owner we weren't friends anymore. Why? Who knows.  Have to wonder what was said to merit such distain. But I certainly can't blame him for taking his friends side of things, since he hardly knew us...
What I do blame him for is being a total jerk to two ppl he knows little about!
Most of us have been guilty of blind loyalty for friends in our lifetime . But in a professional/business manner, any mature person would have politely greeted us and showed us to a table. Not only to act like an adult, but to smartly ensure we continued to patronize his establishment. We would not have been the wiser lol...Our money is just a drop in the bucket but each drop is the sum of many....

Needed to Vent that today....

4 comments:

kenju said...

Were I you, I would print this and mail it to that business owner, and never recommend them again to anyone. How ridiculous of him to treat you and Chris that way - when he had no ax to grind (as my mom would have said.)

Anonymous said...

I don't blame you and Chris for feeling hurt. What a horrible thing to do. You supported both of these businesses (as well as friends, or so you thought) and without warning or reason, they treat you very badly. When I first read your blog, I thought perhaps the restaurant owner was having a bad day, but then when I read the rest it was a definite snub. How terrible for you. People like that don't deserve your friendship. I would send an email to the restaurant and ask them if there was some kind of problem the last time you visited because you felt very unwelcome. Put the onus on him for his bad behavior. As for the massage therapist, well, there is no excuse for her behavior. She was just plain rude. If I was in her shoes, you know I would have been there every day for you to try and help you get better. THAT is what friends do. I would not be recommending either of these people to anyone for a good long time (and possibly forever) as I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone else. Hugs to both of you ~Tess~ oxox

Carmi Levy said...

Unfortunately some people don't seem to understand how to be true friends, and don't appreciate the delicate balance between personal and professional relationships.

You've kept your chin up throughout. Their loss.

Mrs. C. said...

I'm reminded of that poem about friendship, and how, "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime." The time for this friend has obviously come to it's end. You've held your heads high with dignity and can move on now knowing that there are new beautiful friendships to make.