Saturday, September 30, 2006


Well it's been a busy week. Mom and my step father Ben arrived last Sunday and we were kept busy all week. We were thrilled to show them around and just spend precious time together. I will post pics of the places we went in my next post.

Mom's last visit was 16 yrs assured that I have been to see her over the yrs. Not often mind you...In the past 20 yrs I have seen her 6 times...not alot under any circumstances but we are avid phone talkers lol.

I thought I would post a few then and now pics...

Sixteen Years with my daughter at 6 weeks old... Then...
Cleo at 6 weeks with her grandmother
Mom with my daughter at 16 yrs old... Now...
My mom with my daughter Cleo..
Mom, Me and Cleo ....Then...
Mom and I, with Cleo at 6 weeks old
Mom and Moi.(not doing myself any favours here arrrgggg!)....Now...
Maman et Moi
Thought I would add a pic I found of me with my grandmother when I was 6 weeks old also lol....
Me at 6 weeks with my grandmother

From childhood to adulthood...I think many of us feel that same familiar twinge of the little person inside of us no matter how old we are at certain moments in our lives.
For me over the yrs, not seeing my parents often because I live so far away....those moments in time when saying goodbye....when your trying not to cry....and your waving....I feel like that little girl again...wanting my mommy or daddy to stay....Then it's time to turn around and walk away...shake it off..brace the shoulders and be a grownup again. I'm in my 40's afterall lol.

Do any of you have those moments still? or am I a big baby? lol

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


I gave birth to a beautiful daughter.

I know I know, some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking..OH Brother...another mother going on about giving birth story lmao!

Well suck it up...16 is a milestone year..the next one will be...hmmm when she Graduates? Marries? Gives birth? ...heck if I know...could be awhile at any rate. So here it goes.
One of the photos to follow may for some reason offend some ppl out there ..WHY? Because somehow the idea of woman doing one of the most natural things in the world , done since the dawn of time.BREAST FEEDING..for some unforsaken reason, make some ppl uncomfortable. So be forewarned. It is the only pic I have of her on the first day I saw my daughter. I had a C-section so the very next day when I was able to sit up I wanted to bond with her as soon as possible. Hense this pic....
Cleo day old
Bare in mind I just woke up from a C-section a short time before this. I was terrified as first mothers often are. Yet when she was put in my arms...I felt calm. Like somehow I would know what to do. The days that followed, I certainly didn't feel so confident but I seemed to muddle through. I was able to breast feed for 6 months and I would recommend it for anyone asking.

Look at that face ...what a cutey!
Cleo at aprox 8 weeks old

Look at that face.....what a beauty!

She has become such a beautiful person. Inside and out. She strives to be individual and does it with panash. She is funny, smart and headstrong. All reasons why we often clash as she and us go through these difficult teen yrs. As many parents could testify...Going through the teens can be trying at best lol.
On a positive baby is SWEET 16 TODAY!....JE T'AIME MA BELLE!et BONNE FÊTE!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006


Chris and I were able to go out lastnight. We were happily sitting in a resturant talking when a person at another table caught our eye. Our faces turned incredulous as we witnessed a young woman holding up a compact mirror. To apply lipsick or make a quick check of her face u may ask? NOOOOOOOO... it was to better help her see while she openly dug in her wide open mouth with a toothpic, lip also pulled sideways ...fruitlessly forging for food matter! Gets even BETTER....why?...because she had....BRACES!...YES FOLKS....IT WEREN'T PURDY.

COMMON!!! Am I out there for thinking this was WAY out of line?...She was in a public resturant. They have bathrooms. I don't think its appropriet to be doing that infront of others. Geez. She was around 20 yrs old I think, and was with 2 older adults. Parents? maybe or even friends... Either/or, had I been with her I would have told her that it's not something one should do in it in the washroom if urgent, or wait till u get home for pete sakes.

Some may say we should have just turnd our heads and ignored it. We eventually did but we were hard pressed, as she was holding up her arm with compact trying different angles for BETTER LIGHT! She might aswell had a blinking light arrow pointing to her head saying LOOK AT ME BE RUDE..

Once we went to a buffet resturant with friends. While I was about to leave the buffet with my plate, my friend quickly asked me if I would be so kind as to bring her plate to the table also. I said sure, thinking she was going to get herself a salad to accompany it.
As we sat down and waited for our friends before starting to eat. We were taken aback by my friend coming to the table. She had not gotten herself a salad. She had completely filled up 2...yes TWO more plates!
I personally had never seen anyone do that before. I couldn't believe it. Nor could Chris. We kept our mouth shut cause actually words left us at that moment. I mean, the buffet wasn't going anywhere. If you're still hungry after one plate, go back for more. But to surround yourself with 3 heeping plates was pure glutony and rude. She didn't eat much as that is a relief, the fact that she had no regard for all the food she wasted was also beyond me.

On a positive side. Last month as we ate at a resturant, a family came in. As soon as they were seated, the dad removed his baseball cap and his young son followed suit with the same action. We were both surprised to see this as it is so rarely done these days. What a welcome show of manners. What ever happened to the days that men removed head wear inside? Many would argue it doesn't change anything to have it on or off. They are right...I guess it boils down to the way a person was raised.
Don't get me started on cell phone ediquette either...having to hear a loud talker next to me in public grates my nerves. Or watching someone bla bla bla while dining with someone sitting right across from them is just too rude. I understand exeptions ofcourse but still. I have had to tell my neice more then once to turn off the cell while we eat. Whether it be in a resturant or at home. I find it rude while we eat.
Seems rare to see someone just hold the door for someone behind them. What is so hard about that? Am I more sensitive to these things now or are ppl just becoming more rude? Honestly...I just don't know.
Three questions....
Have u seen blatant rudeness or very bad manners in public that made your jaw drop? If yes, what was it.
Am I alone to think that manners are fewer and far between these days?

Saturday, September 09, 2006


Yes ppl, this is an event. My mother is coming to our home 2 weeks from tomorrow. For some it's no big deal. Or it's just a normal occurance. For me...well...
The last time my mom came to my home was when my daughter was 6 weeks old. This was 16 years ago! My daughter will have her 16th bday just 4 days before she arrives. So you get the picture? I had to give BIRTH for her to come over!
NO I AM NOT GIVING BIRTH THIS MONTH..(the boutique closed 16 yrs ago)....just to make that clear. But u do see how this could be termed an EVENT.
Let me explain abit more. My mom lives across the country. It is a 5 hour flight away. Or a 5 day drive, lol, which ever you prefer. (I don't need zeelots...telling me they did it in 3...I did it in 6, so sue me) depends how many times u need to pee on the way I guess. whatever..its a long ass drive.

My mom is also one of those ppl who hates... I mean HATES! to fly. It's a phobia and I can understand and respect it. Although I can travel by air, I don't particularly enjoy it. It's just to convenient and expedient to not use. I grin and bare it till it's time to get off and breath a sigh of relief that it's over. My mom and a sister are both paralysed by the thought. They have both done it in the past nonetheless but the stress level they live with from the moment they have it booked, to the moment they land back home is horrible. I said back home because what ever holiday they are on, all they can think about is the flight back home. It's no fun. It's also the reason my sister wasn't at my wedding.

My mom explained it best once by saying, ppl who have a phobia of flying don't just THINK they will crash....they KNOW that they will crash. Irrational or not, it just is.
This pretty lady is my MOM

But this yr, mom decided that she would make the trip because it was about time she did....Her husband will be coming with her which is nice too. He can hold her hand (I don't envy him for a second).

I think we will need a few spatula's to scrape my mom off the floor of the plane when we get there to pick her up. The last time, she was on the tipsy side and I can't say that I blame her. But she was alone that trip. I think with her hubby along for physical and moral support, she will empty all the cute little liquor bottles they have.....(wondering if I should inform airline to stock up)
Anyway, it should be interesting but hey, whatever gets her here works for me lol.

I am so glad Chris has met my mom. He hasn't however, seen her drunk....I am so relieved that he married me BEFORE he finally does!

All that aside, it will be great to have her here with her hubby Ben. We plan alot of stuff for the 4 days they will be here. Then she is off to my sister's place 3 hours away for another 4 days. Sis is thrilled too. Will be weird to have our mom in the same hemisphere as us for a change lol.

Are u afraid to fly? Do you have loved ones u hardly see because of it?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Stupid or just STUPID!?

This week in my life.

The 5th was my baby sister's bday. She turned 38 this week (sorry for telling sis) lol. BONNE FÊTE MA SOEUR!
When it's her bday, it's my half bday lol. We were both born on the 5th..mine is in march so exactly 6 months between our bdays. I don't celebrate it lol but it does put a skip in my step..and I sing the Happy Half Bday to me song in my head lol.
Another priceless conversation with a caseworker. This one with the social worker who tends to not the clients, but our needs so to speak. She called to catchup after the summer.
Her...So how was the summer? Clients good? Same ole same ole?
Me....Yup, all is good, everyone had a good summer.
Her...Oh you got married too didn't you? How was it? Did you go away?
Me....Everything was beautiful yes, had a great time...and we went away for 5 days for our honeymoon.
Her...Did you have a sitter stay with the clients?
Me....No, we left them alone in the house for the whole 5 days.
Her....HAHA very funny...I guess I asked for that one..haha
Me.....Yes u did. (incert eyeroll and head shake here)

Let me remind u all that I have a 42 yr old blind, mute, epileptic with the mental capacity of a 6 month old.......That SHE...helped place in my care.....nuff said?

Anyone ever ask u such a stupid question you just had to answer?

Sunday, September 03, 2006


I posted this 2 yrs ago.I wish to share it again. This is the month I think of my best friend the most. PLEASE read this. It may make a difference in your life or the life of someone you love.


It’s a Thursday like any other; but at 11:15 am, the phone rings. I notice on the display that it’s my sister-in-law Manon. I picked up and she immediately says, “When was your last pap test?” “I don’t know probably 2 years ago,” I answered. “Well make an appointment NOW!!” she says more desperately. “Yeah, whatever,” I say. “I’ll get around to it.” “I have cancer,” she blurts out. “Quit kidding around, that’s not even funny Manon!” I retorted. “I’m serious, it’s cervical cancer,” she says as her voice starts to wobble and she starts to cry. All I could say was “Oh my God!” She goes on to tell me she’s at her aunt’s and she was having a hard time dealing with it at the moment, she’ll call me later.

As I sat there stunned with the dial tone buzzing in my ear. I thought, this isn’t real. She’s in her 30’s. She’s only a year older than me. This happens to other people like your neighbor’s niece or your milkman’s cousin and the people are much older. Her daughter’s only 11 and she’s my 10 year old daughter’s aunt for Pete’s sake! It’s a mistake. It can’t be. It’s way to close to home!Manon has more energy than anyone I know, she’s always moving or running circles around everyone. For her, everything has to be in order. I often kid that if she let herself go it would be safely assumed that she’d ricochet of the walls. I get tired just watching her.

Manon is more than a sister in law. We hardly go a day without gabbing on the phone at least 2 or 3 times. She has no siblings so she loves to hear all about mine who live across the country. Over 13 years our friendship has survived more than a few major tests. We are the only two people on the planet that can truly relate with each other concerning the species we call our in-laws. She has no right to leave me alone to deal with them! She’s also one of the most unreliable people I know. Every time she borrows clothes, I don’t see them for months even after countless reminders!

The dreaded treatments have started. The chemo and radiation could bring a horse to its knees. You wouldn’t know it by Manon though. After the first day of diagnosis, she decided crying wasn’t going to help her or anyone else around her. She’s gained a peace and wisdom rare for her age to a point of being an inspiration to the doctors and nurses who treat her along with many other cancer victims she’s come to know, most of which are much older. They look forward to her constant humor, words of encouragement and support. I don’t know where she gets this strength. We’re all trying to be strong but she manages to make us stronger still.

The worse is over for now. The side affects from treatments are quite evident but she’s not complaining. In fact she’s really excited about going away with her daughter and husband for a well deserved vacation. One month after they had a great vacation together, her liver stops functioning. The cancer has spread. She’s admitted to the hospital and we all understand that she’s not coming back out. There’s nothing more they can do. All she says to the doctor and us is « I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid to suffer. I don’t enjoy pain! » We cry and she calmly tells us that it’s ok.

I was able to tell her, while I still could that I loved her dearly and how happy I was to be part of her life. I also thanked her for showing me what strength, dignity and courage are.I spent what I know now to be the last 24 hours of her life, at her bed side. She died quietly. I had always done her hair threw the years so I combed her hair for the last time before calling loved ones.

When I kneeled in front of her casket with tears flowing down my cheeks, I also had to smile. She looked beautiful and at peace. The irony is that she was wearing an outfit that I’d lent her many months before. I would swear I could hear her whisper with a laugh, “Try getting this one back!''

I think if she had anything left to say, it would be, “When was your last pap test?”by Monette Bouvier September 9 /2000
I wrote this story in 2000 right after my best friend/sister in law died in Sept....I have been meaning to share it with you. If anything possitive came out of her death it was to really show me how short life could be and it wasn't meant to live being miserable...hense my total change of life within less then a yr after her death . Believe it or not but at 37 I had never had a driver's liscense lol so I began taking classes etc, I started preparing for the rest of my life...seeing a lawer, making arrangements with my now ex Michel for our joint custody of our daughter , coming to an amical parting of things and ways. We had been together for 14 yrs but having never married the legal stuff was about our daughter and our possessions , no divorse .I then had to shop for my own house to enable me to continue my job as a foster family was one of the hardest years of my life but it was also the easiest if u can figure that out. I came though all of that with my head held high, my self esteem renewed after so many yrs of not having any at all , but most of all I felt like a new and stronger woman ready for the rest of my life no matter what it held for me. I knew I had done what had to be done and I had acomplished it in the best manner possible........All who know me also know how happy I have been with Chris in my life. I believe everything happens for a reason. I never would have thought I would meet a man like him or be treated the way he treats me..I wish it for everyone ................I still look up at times thinking of Manon with a smile and I tell her...look at me I surprised you...but thanks for watching over me just to help along the way during those really hard parts...........So, be happy to be alive... we tend to not appreciate it as we bitch and moan about everyday crap... I certainly do...that is why its nice to be reminded of things like this and the perspective of life at times .......HUGS ALL

Saturday, September 02, 2006


We didn't have internet yesterday...ALL DAY!...

It's not like I have to be online but when you CAN'T you just want to.

There was a time when I kept sane by coming online to chat with friends or in chatrooms. Being so isolated working at home, it was what kept me going during some difficult times in my life. Now I rarely go into chat rooms. When I do, I become so disappointed at how adults act...there are so few coherant ppl in them now I have to wonder whether chat just changed completely or did I? Apart from a few glimmers of intelligent life, it would seem that most just check their intellect at the door...(if they have it to begin with is questionable)

Anyway.. these days, I usually have my laptop near by to either play a few favorite games, read blogs, or check and send email and yes sometimes I actually do a blog post lol. Nothing really life altering.

But having that option taken away yesterday...made me realize how easy we become hooked to something. I used to be that way in the days of chatting but I thought I had gone way past that. On holidays or when I can actually get out of the house, it never even crosses my mind unless something cool or interesting happens and I think of it being a good blog post. I guess just knowing I couldn't do my normal routine put a kink in my day lol.

Are u internet hooked? Or are u the once in the blue moon internet surfer? Would it bug u to lose it for awhile?