Thursday, September 14, 2006

ARE BASIC MANNERS JUST TOO MUCH TO ASK?

Chris and I were able to go out lastnight. We were happily sitting in a resturant talking when a person at another table caught our eye. Our faces turned incredulous as we witnessed a young woman holding up a compact mirror. To apply lipsick or make a quick check of her face u may ask? NOOOOOOOO... it was to better help her see while she openly dug in her wide open mouth with a toothpic, lip also pulled sideways ...fruitlessly forging for food matter! Gets even BETTER....why?...because she had....BRACES!...YES FOLKS....IT WEREN'T PURDY.

COMMON!!! Am I out there for thinking this was WAY out of line?...She was in a public resturant. They have bathrooms. I don't think its appropriet to be doing that infront of others. Geez. She was around 20 yrs old I think, and was with 2 older adults. Parents? maybe or even friends... Either/or, had I been with her I would have told her that it's not something one should do in public...do it in the washroom if urgent, or wait till u get home for pete sakes.

Some may say we should have just turnd our heads and ignored it. We eventually did but we were hard pressed, as she was holding up her arm with compact trying different angles for BETTER LIGHT! She might aswell had a blinking light arrow pointing to her head saying LOOK AT ME BE RUDE..
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Once we went to a buffet resturant with friends. While I was about to leave the buffet with my plate, my friend quickly asked me if I would be so kind as to bring her plate to the table also. I said sure, thinking she was going to get herself a salad to accompany it.
As we sat down and waited for our friends before starting to eat. We were taken aback by my friend coming to the table. She had not gotten herself a salad. She had completely filled up 2...yes TWO more plates!
I personally had never seen anyone do that before. I couldn't believe it. Nor could Chris. We kept our mouth shut cause actually words left us at that moment. I mean, the buffet wasn't going anywhere. If you're still hungry after one plate, go back for more. But to surround yourself with 3 heeping plates was pure glutony and rude. She didn't eat everything..as much as that is a relief, the fact that she had no regard for all the food she wasted was also beyond me.
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On a positive side. Last month as we ate at a resturant, a family came in. As soon as they were seated, the dad removed his baseball cap and his young son followed suit with the same action. We were both surprised to see this as it is so rarely done these days. What a welcome show of manners. What ever happened to the days that men removed head wear inside? Many would argue it doesn't change anything to have it on or off. They are right...I guess it boils down to the way a person was raised.
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Don't get me started on cell phone ediquette either...having to hear a loud talker next to me in public grates my nerves. Or watching someone bla bla bla while dining with someone sitting right across from them is just too rude. I understand exeptions ofcourse but still. I have had to tell my neice more then once to turn off the cell while we eat. Whether it be in a resturant or at home. I find it rude while we eat.
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Seems rare to see someone just hold the door for someone behind them. What is so hard about that? Am I more sensitive to these things now or are ppl just becoming more rude? Honestly...I just don't know.
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Three questions....
Have u seen blatant rudeness or very bad manners in public that made your jaw drop? If yes, what was it.
Am I alone to think that manners are fewer and far between these days?

21 comments:

Carmi said...

I think you're right on the money: rudeness seems to be much more common today than it's ever been.

What shocks me is when I drop the kids off at school - some of the other kids are so unbelievably rude that I have to do a double-take. The way they talk to adults is shameful.

Thankfully, our kids seem to have their politeness genes in effect when they're in public. When they're home, it's a different story :)

utenzi said...

Some of what you say I've experienced also, Moon. However at least here in the southern US things don't seem quite that bad except regarding cell phone use. That's pretty bad here too. Most guys remove their hats tho the hair challenged seem to find their "problem" excludes them. LOL

I've never in my life seen anything like the compact assisted mouth debris situation. That's truly nasty!

Michele sent me by to see you, Moon.

kenju said...

Moon, you are so right about all of this. I cringe at something I see or hear nearly everyday. Too many people are not being taught to mind their manners or they are just disregarding them. I hate it when I hold the door for someone and they do not even acknowledge it, and the toothpick in the mouth story made me gag. ICK.

Michele sent me tonight.

Chrissie said...

Oh I agree with you wholeheartedly! (is that one word - I don't think so - but it looks kinda cool)
Have a terrific weekend!
Here from Michele's tonight.

jennypenny said...

oh my gosh i totally agree with you!! i can't beleive someone taking 3 plates at a time at a buffet!!! you should serioulsy consider ditching them as a friend :P

here from michele's

David said...

manners are deceased with the dinosaurs.
i like to open car doors and at restraunts, to pull out my dates chair
and no I have NEVER seen any one slobbish enough to fill three plates at once.

srp said...

Here from Michele.

We lived in the deep south, Mississippi for fifteen years. Rude people are everywhere but kids are taught from birth to say "yes, mamm" and "yes, sir" and "Miss and Mr." are put in front of adults names when children talk.

My pet peve is the Mercedes guy who turned right at a corner and immediately stopped to let three people cram into his $200,000 car, while I sat there half in and half out of the intersection. He had one of those fancy space-age, rock star ear pieces in his left ear that had a flashing blue light... a hands free cell phone. He was busy chatting away and even though his passengers were in the car he took his precious time to go. Fortunately no one hit me from behind. I guess brand new Mercedes sports car drivers are "entitled" to do whatever they want.

Anna said...

Ewww, that is gross, cleaning your mouth in public. Why do you think they put the toothpicks at the register for you to grab on the way OUT..no one wants to see you picking at your teeth while they're eating!

*shakes head*

I am convinced that manners as a whole in our society are becoming extinct.I think this stems from the breakdown of family. We learn what we see at home, or not see in most cases. With both parents working/one parent families and life being so rush rush these days it's really very rare for families to talk about things like manners and other important things in life.

I set the dining room table and we eat as a family every night, This to me is extremely important, a good time to discuss all kinds of things with your kids.

*hugs*

Two Sexy Ladies said...

Funny that Michele sent you to me and now me to you!

To answer your question in a word:
Yes!

Rae said...

you are definitely not alone Moon...

I hate rude people...
now see I've been known to use a toothpick at the dinner table but never in such a manner... c'mon now.. lips closed... reading that reminded me of the (oral b or colgate or whatever toothbrush)commercials where they talk about what it would would be like to have a flip top head... sounds like thats what that chick needed in order to get her mining done...

The cell phone thing... yeah if anyone answers a phone at the dinner table with me sitting there and proceeds to have a 'non-emergency' phone call... oh yeah that things getting smashed...

As for the friend at the buffet, yeah I'd say thats a little excessive... but then again so was the retarded comment above about, "rethinking that person as a friend" ... whoever that was... give your head a shake... that was a shallow and petty comment... you would give someone up as a friend because they happened to take 3 plates instead of one? *shakes head* I don't think I would have said anything at that point, I wouldn't want to further embarrass the person at the restaurant but I think I may have said something later on in private about how that was excessive.

Hats inside... here's another one... I was raised that when you enter someones house, a restaurant or a place of worship you take your hat off ... same with my man... as he pleasantly surprised Chris with when we went out *chuckles* he was raised the same way...

Maybe it's just because of where I'm from or the fact that I was raised in a small town but for the most part when I hold the door open for people I'd say 95% of the time I get thanked or nodded at for the gesture... I found that traveling thru the states that in the Southern states especially, everyone said thanks.

Common Sense, Manners and Morals... all start at home... teach your kids from day one and when they turn 20 they'll surprise you one day and let ya know that they really were listening for all those years ;)

Carrie said...

Yes people are getting more rude by the minute.

About a month ago my BF mom, BF and I go to dinner at a very nice place and her cell phone rings. She nicely tells her other son that we are having dinner but he proceeds to talk. She sat there thoughout the whole dinner talking. We had to have her dinner boxed up. It was embarrassing for her and us.

Jod{i} said...

Oh I agree 100%, Having waitressed for too many years back in the day, having seen 'things' that just shouldnt be seen out in public...and this is one of them!
Love your blog(A late Congrats as well)!

Blogazoo hit!

Peace

Shane said...

my favorite is the absolute moron with the cell phone at the restaurant.

Blond Girl said...

Michele sent me. As for manners, they are apalling these days, it seems. I just had a garage sale and wrote about three instances that will just make you shake your head. Rather than re-writing about it, perhaps you'd like to visit and get a "whatever!" giggle out of it.

I was glad to hear about the dad and his sons. At least some people are raising their children with manners. Emily Post would be pleased...

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Thanks so much for your visit...
I have not understaood this: Two people dining togerther---BOTH on cell phones. Hello? Why bother going out to eat WITH each other???
I'm not sure who it is rude too...(lol), but I think it says something about what is happening to our society...I heard a young woman on the news today---after our Governer has just signed a law about cell phones in cars....you will not be able tp hold a cell phone in one hand anymore---you will have to have some iind of ear piece thingy...and btw this doesn't go into effect till 2008!!
Anyway...this young woman actually said:"Well, I HAVE to have my cell phone in my car..." !!!!
Does she realize there was a time, not that long ago when we didn't have cell phones--period???

How sad is that that people cannot be without their cell phone for 2 minutes???? Besides being rude...it is terrible dangerous. Frankly, I think just having a conversation on a cell phone could be dangerous if you are having a fight...but that is true when someone is in the car with you, too...

I'll stop. I didn't mean to go on and on....Sorry.

Heather said...

Of course, on the spot, I can't think of any of the top of my head, but I have to agree, manners are far and few between it seems anymore.

Now I can think of one, yesterday my son got in trouble outside, and I brought him in. His little friend came to the door 10 minutes later to ask if he could come outside, I said no, that he was grounded. His friend proceeded to look at me like I was stupid, then started to argue with me on why I was wrong and my son should be able to play. GRRRR! Whatever happened to respecting adults?

kelley said...

grew up .. with manners being a big thing. I still pick my kids up on theirs. Mind you i come from the 60's. Now my eldest daughter came from the mid 80's, now i pick her up on the manners *60's* but i think we could say we now need *80* manners. Like turning your phone off, or at least silent, when your at the movies and such, like meetings. Im sure there are many more we could consider added.

Im glad to say the child care i work for, believe in teaching the kids, that manners are important. Maybe we might get lucky, and get a few, who will use them.

MsDemmie said...

Spot on !

Blogazoo hit,

SP said...

I can't think of anything perse in a restaurant but I do remember lots of friends that I simply stopped asking over because the minute they arrived, they simply forgot that they had kids and simply let them run wild. I would never dream of letting my kids do anything like that. And most of the time, unless the kids were specifically asked, we hired a sitter.

No, you have to wonder if manners are something that is quickly losing ground! :(

Student of Life said...

Who is this Michele that sends people.....anyways...

I have to agree on the manners. No, Moon, it's probably not that you're more sensitive, although being with Chris has probably spoiled you somewhat. I just don't think that people recognize the value of manners. For me, it inserts calm into a tense situation. Especially when one is at a store or restaurant. Many is the time that I've seen flustered servers or clerks dealing with angry or difficult customers; this is the time, as a customer, that I exercise the most courtesy. It offsets the rudeness of previous customers. Not that I allow my rights as a client go away, but there is a limit to how much of a pain I should be. Just doesn't help.

As a clerk, being polite is the best revenge!! If you actively remain courteous and helpful, it sort of pricks the balloon of whomever has decided to be a whackjob that day. Frustrates them more, but what can they say without putting a neon sign on themselves saying "I'm an ass, I'm an ass....". Anyways, interesting point to bring up.

Gina said...

Oh, boy! There is not a day that goes by when I don't shake my head in awe at the state of youth here in Sweden. Profanity laced music is prevalent on the airwaves, uncensored; there is often full nudity in the tabloid newspapers or magazines and last month there was a gubble gum machine on exit of the local supermarket with the "Shitting Family" ( written in english of course) when you squeeze them a large brown blob came out of their behind...No one else complained and i actually saw people buying them. The Hubbs saw nothing wrong with it and got a one off on the laugh. I retaliated by forcing him to translate my ire to the store manager what poor taste it was and that it was beyond vulgar to even advertise such a thing to children.

"You have to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything..."