Tuesday, January 11, 2005

GIVE HIM LIBERTY, GIVE HIM A DIVORCE!!

As of this minute, Chris is in a court room right now with his lawyer trying to get a divorce. WITHOUT HER SIGNATURE.

Let me give u a brief history. (HA THATS FUNNY coming from miss long winded)
After 18 years of marriage, he left. He told her to get a lawyer and get all her demands and/or conditions on paper so he can sign it. He just wanted to share custody of the kids, nothing else. He took his clothes and got a small apartment. He didnt even retain his own lawyer. He gave her everything with no arguements. He had, had enough. I won't get into all the things he told me about his life with her, it's not for me to repeat any of it. Suffice it to say he was very unhappy for many years but chose to remain in a loveless marriage for the sake of the kids. Finally the day came that it was just too much.

Papers of separation are drafted. She retains all but does not want to take the time to sell the house. She decides to go back home to europe. So the house is given back to the bank and they have to deal with dept conciliation..for both of them....that he pays off monthly for himself aswell as for her. He is willing to do all this because he is the one to walk away from the marriage.

She has to get an apartment , but starts selling off the contents of the house to go meet up with a man she knew in France. Which was fine with Chris. If she was happy, his life was easier regardless. He had his children often and was starting a new life.

During these happenings, he occasionally chatted online. Where I chatted also , among 49 others in a chatroom. We became friends and the rest is history. In the meantime, she decides to make a new life with this man she knew. Her new man friend had to go live in Malaysia for 2 years for his employer so she wanted to bring the children with her. Chris agreed given that it was a rare opportunity for them to live in a different country. Learn about a new culture and maybe learn another language. Both his children are very smart. Like Chris himself, both children are members of Mensa.....Anyway I digress. ..So ...knowing that this means he will not see his children for a very long time he still feels that its a change of a lifetime for them to have this experience.

She takes off and leaves Chris to deal with whats left of her stuff to sell, her apartment lease, all the childrens things, along with his own lease in trying to find tenants to take over either his or her lodging commitments. It was a nightmare but he dealt with all of it with calm and purpose.

He corresponded with his kids by phone and online. He even ironed out a few problems at school across the world just by writting to the teacher in question. Making sure the school knew he was available by phone or email if needed anytime. (keep in mind there was a 14 hours time difference) His children always came to him about whatever. Never their mother. He even delt with his daughter starting her period. She didnt even tell her mom opting to phone her dad instead. Or when she started having acne problems, she asked her dad to get her something for it so he did. He set up a time for doing homework together online because he found out his son was doing it on the bus to school instead of at home. His wife was never into helping them with that either....nuff said.

A year goes by. It is legally appropriate to proceed with a divorse after one full year of legal separation. He talks to her to make sure that all still meets with her approval with the separation papers her own lawyer put together . If she wanted to make any changes? She says no. So he says he will proceed with them to finalize their divorce. She says thats fine.

After the call she proceeds to totally lose it by screaming, crying, sobbing, swearing , slamming doors and basically alienating her kids and her bf with her (not umcommon antics) . Wonder how the man in her life felt right about then not to mention her children. Like I said before, his kids tell Chris everything so thats how we know about that outburst.

Divorce papers are sent. Chris had to finally retain his own lawyer to proceed. She refused to sign them. More papers are sent. She writes off a rebutal letter to lawyer refuting many of the conditions and even adding how he is not a present father in the lives of the children and that she is not impressed with the conditions.............REMEMBER WHO FILLED OUT THOSE CONDITIONS? SHE DID!!!..... All in her own favour. Even the lawyer was shaking his head when he read her letter . It was like WTF?... She is the one who took the children overseas so um, it would stand to reason that Chris can not be *present...it certainly makes no mention of all the efforts put in by him to stay in contact with them and try to be a part of their life, school and emotional support.

So this goes on back and forth with her not wanting sign any papers through pure malice. They did the 2 years in Malaysia to then move back to France. Atleast Chris' parents are there so have seen the children and have also been able to report back to him about them aswell. They finally got some gifts from us that previously were not delivered from purposefull omitting to pick up said parcels in the airport. To then say he never sent anything. She got everything she could from him yet still wants to shed blood. I guess the idea of him moving on and being happy now is just not acceptable to her. Even living her new life with another man in a fine new house in France.

Finally the last stand was taken a few months ago. His lawyer sent off more divorce papers to sign with a time release stipulation. In signing for the reception of said papers, she understands that she has 90 days to either sign, refute or retain her own lawyer to contest and/or change anything. Basically answer to them no matter what. If she chose not to she gives lead to Chris going to court to get a divorce decreed without her signature.

That my friends is today.

As I was writing this out I got THE call.

YES!! THE MAN I LOVE IS NOW OFFICIALLY DIVORCED. All thats left is for those lovely papers stamped by a judge to make their way to her doorstep. Oh and btw the judge stipulated that he has the kids next xmas lol. One of the conditions in HER papers was that they alternate holidays.......She has had the children for 3 years now.

So , he informs the french government that they are divorced and VOILA its all official. WHOOOO HOOOOO..........

Now our life together can finally move forward. I will let him have a brief impression that he is a free man then swoop him up legally before anyone else does hahahaha.

It has been a long 3 years of waiting but worth every minute.

10 comments:

Squirrels said...

Congrats, congrats. It is about time. It's a shame that some people want to hang on even after it is over and they have moved on too. They want some suffering shown I think. Anyway. It is done. He is free. I am so happy for you both. I just love the picture. Can I copy it and put it on my picture blog page? You both look so happy. :)

Rae said...

OMG!!! **does a massive happy dance** (nothing in comparison to what you are doing Moon... but anyway...
oh my god thats fantastic... I'm so happy to hear that... you guys have been waiting for this for so long now... and you both deserve to be happy and I know thats with each other... *starting to get misty eyed*

J'espère que vous avez une longue et affectueuse vie ensemble. Je t'aime tous les deux.

and I hope that doesn't say;
"may ass potatoes love umbrellas with fart popsicles"

*hugs to you both*
Congrats

JustSue said...

Totally thrilled at your news!!! Congratulations to you both!!! ...and what great news about getting the kids next Christmas! I bet that will be one holiday to remember!

Amanda said...

Congrats Moonie and Obi!!

Shannon said...

I am so happy for you both!

Hey Moon?

Know any single french men?

*snicker*

stoodybayker said...

Well, Pretty Lady...it's about TIME!!!!

Remember, I want an invite to the wedding! Tell Chris I can empathize...and, believe me, the children will realize who their real parent is, eventually.

Anonymous said...

Monette, and Chris, CONGRATULATIONS!! I am so happy for both of you. You can now move on with your life without that monkey on your backs! I wanted to also say that I do so love that photo of the two of you together. If my printer printed decent photo pics I would steal it and frame it. I have missed your chatting times as Ive really been very busy with the changes in my life, but as always, love you both and am grateful for our friendship.
Katharine

puglet said...

What a load to deal with. Best of luck as you, Chris and the kids head into the future!

lab munkay said...

"Chris and his ex-deamon are now happily divorced...." See Moon, fairy tales really do come true. Stay beatiful.

Anna said...

YaY, this means I get to go to a wedding some time soon :p

I am so happy for you both *hugs*