Sunday, July 09, 2006

STILL AFRAID BUT LESS LOST.......HOPEFULLY

I am amazed at how many ppl took the time to comment. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Your support, advise and kindness will and has served a big purpose. We have recieved invaluable information and ideas.

After the night out and cops fiasco, she calmed down somewhat. I realize the calms between storms will be short lived but atleast we catch up on sleep during those moments.

It is also during those down times that some of the conversations seem less sermin-y and more mutual talks persay. I also do not fool myself in thinking its all sinking in and any teen knows how to say the right things at the right time when it serves their purpose...BUT... here again, in order to do that, they have to listen to most of what u say in the moment.....Every little word counts.

We had her cousin Chantal here for a few days, they are very close and Chantal thankfully isnt into the drug scene...she is abit older then my daughter aswell and she likes to spend time here. We took the girls downtown Montreal on thursday. It was an awesome day. Sunny and not humid. St. Catherine St. is the main strip in Montreal and a place we rarely go but they wanted to and it is also where the Jazz Festival is held. Some streets blocked off and hords of ppl. So we walked around, shopped abit, and listened to some jazz. Just being out together without the black cloud of the last weeks was what we needed. It disapated the tension and we had some fun. It was later that night at home that we were able to have a pretty decent conversation as I was saying above.

We have put down some ground rules...I for once am so thankfull she has 3 weeks of summer classes to get her credits and start her last yr of highschool with a clean slate.

It will mean having to take the bus to another school, at 6:30 am to be there for 8am...meaning she will be up at the butt crack of dawn to get ready...school is till 1pm...so she will be busy 5 days a week for 3 weeks. Just that will cut into *friends* time and the new rules start tomorrow (monday) that she has to be here for supper and be in the house by 8: pm every night....if she does that constantly for a week, I will add 30 mins.

She gets it, also thinks it sucks lol...but like I told her, she burned all her bridges in no time, so now she has to build up our trust in her all over again. Make better choices and come to the councelling sessions we are starting on the 18th.

Among other things, we have been taking note off all the phone numbers that call here and making a list of friends we don't know. We also got rid of the alcohol in the house...we rent a storage place so its all there now. We also took the handles off her bedroom windows and changed the alarm code for the house. We check her room often for anything and her purse also...anytime she leaves it unattended.

These are all small steps but they are paramount and fruitfull. Some of these very ideas come from total strangers that took the time to comment...and even keep in touch.

It is ppl like these that help us keep the faith in human kindness during a time of disparity . The support and the understanding. But mostly the parents who shared their own experiences and heartbreak are the only ones who totally understand what it is to go through this. I thank you for opening up your hearts to write about something so difficult and personal.

I know this roller coaster ride is just beginning....and as I was writting this, my daughter who was at her friends house till she had to go to her weekend kitchen job in a resturant...called to say she didn't feel well and wasn't going in. ....I told her that was find, but....... 1. She had to let the Resturant know.
2. She had to get her arse home, pronto.
She said..but school isn't till tomorrow mom....Yes, but the only reason, the 8pm curfew wasn't in effect weekends, is because u work till 10pm..so if your to ill to work, your too ill to be out with friends...period.
She came home and called the resturant......thankfully.

So ...the games begin, end and stay aloft all at the same time lol. Man, we parents sure have to keep alert and on our toes. I will keep updating as things progress and strategies either work or turn out to be duds. Keep up the support and let me know what your thoughts are along the way........hugs to all.

7 comments:

Shannon said...

I'm so thrilled and happy for you that she seems to be listening...even if it is only for this moment. It makes the next moment (hopefully) that much easier the next time you have to sit down and talk.

You're right, those that have been through it know best as to what it is that you are going through, however, given that you are like the sister I wished I had, I can certainly feel your pain.

Your always in my thoughts, forever in my heart.

xxxx Shan

Rae said...

Moon...
I just want to let you know again that I'm here if you need a shoulder and as I've said to you before in pm's and on the phone... I can't say that I know exactly what you and Chris are going thru but I do knoe what I put my mother and father thru when I was growing up. I would love to say that this is awesome that you were able to talk to her a bit. Don't get me wrong it is great... but its a babystep as you know, but you guys are definitely going in the right direction, just don't get discouraged when there are some backslides.
I would never claim to know what you are feeling inside, just know that you have a friend over here that is more than willing to just listen hun. I willing to let ya know what my parents did and didn't do ;)
Ry and I love you guys and wish you the best.
I can't think of a stronger united front as you and Chris ;)

talk to you soon... :D

Mama Duck said...

*hugs*

Bess said...

Sounds like you're making some headway. I hope you keep making such good progress (and the backtracking stays minimal). You're a strong woman, that's for sure. My thoughts and good wishes are all with you. :)

kelley said...

I like those steps, even in they arnt BBW size. Im sure you and Chris wont give up. That overall is the important thing. There will be a turning point, Im sure of it. :)

Angel said...

Good luck... When I was a teenager my mom took my bedroom door off the hinges.

- Angel

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