AN ENGLISH LESSON

I recieved this from a friend and thought it was so apt. I being bilingual sometimes forget how difficult it can be for my daughter who only speaks french or even Chris who is very good in english but has a sexy french accent to go with it hehe...after reading this it gave me a better understanding of some of his frustrations with the language lol.


Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
> >
> > 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
> >
> > 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
> >
> > 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
> >
> > 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
> >
> > 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
> >
> > 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
> >
> > 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it
> > was time to present the present.
> >
> > 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
> >
> > 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
> >
> > 10) I did not object to the object.
> >
> > 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
> >
> > 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
> >
> > 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
> >
> > 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
> >
> > 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
> >
> > 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
> >
> > 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
> >
> > 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
> >
> > 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
> >
> > 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
> >
> > 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
> >
> > Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg
> > in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
> > pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or
> > French fries in France.
> >
> > Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
> > sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we
> > explore its paradoxes, we find that
> >
> > quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a
> > guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
> >
> > And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
> > grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of
> > tooth is teeth, why isn't the
> >
> > plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2
> > meese? One index, 2 indices?
> >
> > Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
> > amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
> > all but one of them, what do you call it?
> >
> > If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a
> > vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
> >
> > Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
> > committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
> > language do people:
> >
> > Recite at a play and play at a recital?
> >
> > Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> >
> > Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> >
> > How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
> > wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
> >
> > You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
> > which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
> > fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes
> > off by going on.
> >
> > English was invented by people, not computers, and it
> > reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course,
> > is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out,
> > they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
> > invisible.
> >
> > PS: Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?