Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Real Friends Don't Let Friends..............

I felt the need to address something someone wrote about friendship......

*friends dont judge each other they accept each other and their faults*

I do understand to a point what they are saying , please don't get me wrong..friends are to be loved and charished and appreciated...having said that friends are also the ones we can care enough about, to step in and NOT ACCEPT SOME OF THEIR FAULTS...let me give some examples;

-had a friend not come to my aid and just let me do what Iwanted when I was 19 and stupidly try to commit suicide...I would be dead now.
-had I not sat a friend down and said,,WTF are u doing? your on a path of self distruction...and hurt for everyone around you! I do sincerely believe that person would be either dead or a shell of themselves today.....and has said asmuch.
-had I and countless other friends not removed the keys to the cars of our friends who had too much to drink...??? Wonder how many lives were spared because of it.
-had my best friend listened to my FORCED OPINION overcountless yrs about going to the doc and getting her pap test? SHE WOULD BE ALIVE TODAY

I could come up with alot of general examples but these among others are my own personal ones......are they a manner of judging?Yes absolutely! If I thought a friend was in trouble by their own choice...would I try to help and be there to pick up the pieces? Yes absolutely! Do these subjects deal with FORCED OPINIONS on others? Yes they do...but then if we shouldn't ever do that....What would be of the forced opinions about the WOMAN'S RIGHT TO VOTE, ABOLISHING SLAVERY, BASIC CIVIL RIGHTS, APARTHEID, and many others....Aren't all of these things faught for and won, by ppl who forced their opinions on others? ....

I realize I have digressed somewhat from this persons original idea about friendship...but isn't it all somewhat related? I would pray that any friend of mine would CARE enough about me to call me on something I did...or am doing. I know that a stranger certainly wouldn't do it...............


Anonymous said...

As to this well i agree...But thats not what i read in chris's message. Who is anyone to say, just because you do what you do, you dont have morals. And because of that i dont want to talk to you. And because the message came out of the blue and passed just as a general comment. then the comment.. Dont talk to me.. shouldnt of been put in..thats not general.. its a point or fact.. but hell what would i know hey. Im just one of those ones he wont want to hear or listen too.

sighs and waits..
knows i can hear the bytching...
you all know where to find me

Red Clover said...

I've done plenty of things I'm not proud of in the past. Might even in the future, with that said.. I choose who I keep company with. I don't spend much time w/ my mother because of her habits. They aren't what "I" feel is appropriate for my life or my son's. Does this make me a bad person for telling her "don't talk to me" when your drunk, stoned, or in a psycho religious phase? No! It makes me responsible for MY own actions, and choices.

I don't think that Chris' choices on what kind of things he wants to be exposed to is an out and out condemnation of those things, either. It's his choice. He's not saying your dog vomit for doing those things.. just the he doesn't want to, need to, or have to be exposed to that.

You are who you are friends with. We all have talked about our kids meeting that kid that's the "bad influence", well that is possible in adults as well. I left Fire's room due to some of the things that were considered OK, and normal there. I don't care what they do, but I made a decision to take myself away from it, stop chatting with those people, and make new (and in my opinion) more appropriate friends.

Sorry to post a post here moon.. but I've read some of the comments your getting and well you know I can't shut the hell up once it reaches a certain point.

moon said...

I love you too Jenn...oxoxox

~*Kris*~ said...

Moonie... I just HAD to comment...because I love commenting to your blog (it boosts my traffic too heehee).

I think people have differing views of friendship, and that is what blurs the lines. To me...a friend is someone who speaks the truth in all matters...even when it hurts. Not to intentionally harm...but to help them see a different view of their actions. People equate this with "judging". Well... if that is judging..then by all means...judge me. I would seriously be dead at this moment in time if someone hadn't told me I was screwing up my life. Yeah, it sucked at the time...yeah, I was pissed off at him...yeah, I didn't want to talk to him anymore for a LONG time. But you know what... he never gave up on me, and, in the end, I wound up married to him. We have a gorgeous son, and a remarkable marriage. We have our fights, but, deep down, I know, without a doubt, that he has my best interests at heart, and won't hesitate to snap me out of a bad decision, even if he knows it'll piss me off when he does it.

THAT is the definition of caring about someone. To me... anyone who won't do that is just a drinking buddy. Someone you hang out with...but don't have any sort of connection with. I have no interest in having relationships like that.

moon said...

OK, Wombat, let me try to understand and reiterate....first u say "Who is anyone to say" referring to Chris' post then you go on to say
" because the message came out of the blue and passed just as a general comment. then the comment.. Dont talk to me.. shouldnt of been put in..thats not general.. its a point or fact"
Correct me if I am wrong but aren't u doing just that? Who are you to say how he should write his own text? We all have a right to our an opinion but aren't you contradicting yourself?...Now if you had read his post the way it was interpreted by most as a poem form with a repeating CHORUS ...DON'T TALK TO ME.... you may have not taken it so literally.
As for the rest , saying I am "cutting folks down" well..I guess its ok for you to comment on a comment but I shouldn't be able to do the same by commenting on your comment about another comment.....and then by my commenting on your comment , you inturn leave the group in a huff? ..ok, who exactly is "bytching" as u say? ...I may be wrong but could it be the dead horse?

Anonymous said...

Hey moon, I wouldn't ABOLISH SLAVERY, I would have changed it tho. Kept the men, all the men, LOL, as the slaves!!!Yeah baby. Sorry, I felt left out. Everyone else had something to say, so I had to add something. And this was the only thing that pooped into this head at the time. Yeah i put pooped and not popped. I agree with you about not excepting faults. Just wanted to let you know that. My husband is faulty !! and I'm not accepting any of his. LOL
Signed : Anonymous Squirrels :)

~*Kris*~ said...

I would like to comment on a comment that was in answer to a comment...ummm

If one more person comments on this blog entry...none of the comments are going to make sense anymore. Can't we all agree to disagree...or at least agree that it's up to each individual to decide who they talk to any why they stop talking to people? I mean... seriously...has it gotten to the point where no one is allowed to make decisions without passing the idea through the freakin thought police?

The facts are: everyone has opinions...everyone wants to state their opinions...HOWEVER... stating an opinion is not "forcing" it on someone. I don't think either obi OR moonie put a gun to anyone's head and said "READ THIS THING I WROTE OR I'M GONNA STAB YOUR EYES OUT WITH SHARDS OF GLASS AND THEN SHOOT YOU IN THE STOMACH!!!" Hmmm.. I think NOT. Therefore... it can be said that a public forum is not place to feel threatened or "judged" unless you are feeling guilty about something.

Anonymous said...

Well bugger...Wenchie.. such a way with words. but stay cool.. im not wasting my time, answering anything else about that matter. Why cause im not into flogging dead horses.. As to the thought police, chokes, i see they are living still, thought they died when the orignal (*sp) room died. *smiles*

Dont you just love it when you can speak your mind.. :) when your with your friends. And in such a public forum, you get so many interesting views. :)


Anna said...

Uhmmm, can I just cut in here and say that I love you moon >:D<. Thanks for letting me know that my cryassing wasn't gonna fly. Your the best and damn your sexy ;)